I’ve had my eye on Evan for awhile now for a HOL feature, he has a very soft spoken and impactful energy around him. Kind eyes and a big heart, Evan shares some of his experiences with us:
Tell us about your CrossFit Experience:
“I joined LoLo mid December. Jan was when I was back though- so probably 9 months now.
LoLo has been a really beautiful part of my life. It continues to be a really beautiful part of my life.
There is a time and place one gets to when working out, when you have nothing left, all there is is vulnerability. Rawness is all that’s left and that’s a vulnerable place to be, there’s no room for stories, or fakeness. There’s no energy left but to be who you are. That’s when you push yourself to the brink.
I think there’s something really amazing about having a space [like LoLo] in your life where it is safe to be vulnerable.
This allows me to be a better me, you know? The more I’m able to be vulnerable around others, the more comfortable I get in my own skin which allows me to love more deeply. And the more deeply I can love in my own life, the more joy I can share and experience. So really, LoLo is more joy!
I’m an introvert – my go to is to be quiet. If I finish a workout first, I go and encourage others which is hugely uncomfortable for me. But community is such a huge aspect for me here and I want to contribute to that.
Could you take us back to a particular moment of vulnerability in the gym?
Once, I asked the coach if I should do RX. I decided to go for it.
I pulled out all the RX gear and during the workout I tried to go lower on my wall ball. Coach Adrian said “no no, you said you were going RX so that’s what you’re doing”.
Near the end of it, I found myself on the brink of tears. Vulnerability so deep that tears well up, It took everything I had and more to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
I was proud of myself to have not given up. I didn’t give up, I didn’t stop.
I want to be a healthy role model for my three year old daughter. Children learn so much by modelling parents. She asked:
“Where you going daddy?”
-“Because it feels good to move my body”
What started you on this path?
When I was 29, I realized I was miserable and I wanted to wake up on my 30 birthday and be happy. That’s what I wanted.
I felt that there was this expectation that I would live through my life course: go to school, job, marriage, kids and thing after thing. I never embraced life as my own and discover my true vision and goals. At some point I seriously studied myself to discover what I am outside of the expectation? The what needed to come first and the who was after.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Something needed to change. It started with going back to school and after some soul searching, I decided to follow the path of some of my favourite authors; become a healthcare professional and become an author myself. Lecturing on healthcare sounded fun and massage gave me a pathway to follow to get there. So I went to school for massage.
Our ability to impact other people changes radically to the degree that we take care of ourselves. Going to school for a giving profession taught me that because I was doing things that depleted me and I couldn’t give to others while I felt incredibly defeated.
What has been the happiest moment of your life?
I have a lot of gratitude for my life so I have to say every moment is the happiest for me, or else I’m doing something wrong.
What has been the saddest moment of your life?
Losing my father was a truly devastating loss. For several years, he had a stroke a year and each one took some of him from us. After reflection about it, he was my safe place and that was where I went to grow. When he died, there was no safe space.
Who has been the most influential person in your life?
At the moment, it’s my daughter. She is such an amazing teacher. Not only is she forever living in the present moment and reminding me to return there but I believe she is a mirror to my inner reality.
When she starts to get a little upset, often if I look inside, there is something off with me internally. If I can breathe into that space and let it go, her behaviour subconsciously changes like a little antennae.
She is a mirror into my soul.
What are you excited about right now?
I’m excited about a lot of things.
I love what I do, my clients are fans and they go out of their way to see me and I love it.
I’m feeling called to write a book, a blog, put myself out there. I’m excited about this and it also terrifies me. Being honest with the outside world makes you vulnerable and puts you in a position where you might get hurt.
I also feel like on my life journey this far, I’ve had some wonderful learning about moving from this view of life being a scary place to life as a belief system that will give us whatever we expect of it.
The factors that inch me into these realms of vulnerability are the real want to provide for my family in all ways, it’s desperately important for me to show up 100% for them. I feel like I could do more.
I should also mention that somewhere like LoLo gives me a chance to practice in tiny safe bits vs. throwing it out there on the internet. Micro acts of courage builds the macro acts.
I believe that we are all trying to fill a void of sorts, sometimes with overworking, over eating, drugs etc. Nothing wrong with re-affirming indulgences but I have a deep seeded belief that Love is the void filler. Bringing a child up in a loving conscious way, you can help them stay away from the void.
I want to help people get into their heart space.